Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Connect the Thoughts

I going to conduct a little experiment today. Not the kind of experiment you do in a laboratory. A laboratory where you might expect to see scientists pouring things in and out of test tubes. I wonder if that's where the expression "down the tubes" originated. Expressions can originate in all kinds of different places. As many places as there are on a map. Do they even still print maps now that there's all these Global Positioning Devices? God knows, they're coming out with all kind of new devices these days. And the days will start getting longer once Daylight Savings Time ends. Time is relative, as Einstein said. Einstein changed our conception of reality. Reality as opposed to make-believe. Make-believe is for kids. But kids have short attention spans. In fact, to get them to pay attention, the teacher has to sometimes hit her desk with her ruler. And she's going to need that ruler if she wants to teach geometry. Geometry being a math skill. And you're going to need all kinds of skills if you want to survive in today's economy. As the economy is in a recession, maybe depression. Though not the Great Depression, which they had in the 1930s. I don't know that I'd want to live in the 1930s, though I do like lot of the movies they made then. My favorite kinds of movies are comedies. I think some of the funniest comedies starred Laurel and Hardy. I wonder if Oliver Hardy was related to Thomas Hardy, a writer who lived in the 19th Century. I don't know that I'd want to live in the 19th Century when they were still riding around on horses. I can't believe horses like people sitting on their backs. Maybe their backs are just super strong. I believe the strongest animal is the elephant. And it's a myth that elephants are afraid of mice. Mice do scare a lot of humans. But many more humans simply regard them as pests to be got rid of, usually with traps. When setting a trap you need the right kind of bait. For instance, if it's a mousetrap, the bait is cheese. You can use any kind of cheese: American, provolone, Swiss, etc. The Swiss are known not only for there cheese but also their chocolate. However, chocolate originally comes from South America. South America is also where tobacco originated. Tobacco has caused all kinds of health problems. If you want good health, avoid tobacco, along with foods with too much cholesterol. One source of cholesterol is beef. However, the late Robert Atkins thought beef was better for you than food with a lot of carbohydrates.

As I said, I'm conducting a little experiment. The Philadelphia Experiment. Philadelphia Cream Cheese. The moon is made out of green cheese. Green Eggs and Ham. Ham sandwich. The Earl of Sandwich. Duke of Earl. Hello there, pilgrim, this is the Duke speaking. Plain speaking. Cleveland Plain Dealer. The dealer well sell you some dope. The straight dope. Walk the straight and narrow. I Walk the Line. What's My Line? What's New, Pussycat? Pussycat, pussycat, where have you been? Been there, done that. That Girl. The "It" Girl. It Came From Outer Space. Space Ghost. Casper, the Friendly Ghost. Ed Friendly. Mr. Ed. Mr. and Mrs. Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Daughter. May I take your daughter's hand in marriage? Marriage license. License to kill. Time to kill. Time magazine. Magazine subscription. Subscription drugs. Addicted to drugs. You might as well admit it, you're addicted to love. Love means never having to say your sorry. Sorry about that, Chief. Indian chief. Indian summer. What I did on my summer vacation. Plan the perfect vacation. Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Good morning. It's morning in America. North America. North by Northwest. Northwest Passage. Passage to India. India ink. Ink stained wretch. That carpet is stained. Magic carpet. Black magic. Jack Black. The House That Jack Built. The House That Ruth Built. Babe Ruth. I've Got You, Babe. I've Got a Secret. Secret agent. Talent agent. Talent show. The show must go on. Go, man, go! Man does not live by bread alone. Wonder bread. Wonder Woman. American woman, stay away from me. Me, myself, and I. I cannot tell a lie. To tell the truth. Truth be told. Twice-Told Tales. Fairy Tales. Clap if you believe in fairies. I don't believe it. Don't go there. There's no there there. The answer is no. The answer to the question. I have just one question. One Live to Live. Live and let live. Let us pray. Pray to God. Oh, God. Uh, oh. That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it. Any way you like it. Way out. Out and about. About last night. It Happened One Night. What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? Dick and Jane. Dick Tracy. Hepburn and Tracy. Audrey Hepburn. Audrey Meadows. Jayne Meadows. Jayne Mansfield. Mike Mansfield. Open mike. Open, sesame. Sesame Street. On the edge of Lonesome Street is Heartbreak Hotel. Hilton Hotel. Paris Hilton. I love Paris in the spring time. Spring in your step. Step right up. Right wing. Left wing. Left of center. Center of attention. Pay attention. Buy now, pay later. Sooner or later. Sooner than you think.

In conclusion, stream of consciousness as a literary device is best suited to a medium other than blogging.


  1. I love a dose of stream of consciousness, Kirk, but you're right blogdom can only take so much of it. Your second paragraph here is amazing. All those titles, from songs and films, all running one into the other through your fine wired mind. Wonderful. Thanks for your experiment. It was fun. I might try it too sometime.

  2. It's fun to see old phrases and song titles etc that are embedded in our brains come out in this kind of experiment. I can tell you are my age!

  3. Kirk, although I feel I know you pretty well, I'm not sure whether your overarching tone here was serious, tongue-in-cheek, or both. But I will say I found this profound ~ a true peek into what forms you. Thank you for inviting us into the landscape that is you!

    Can't resist WV - nomato. Do you want nomato on that Earl of Sandwich?

  4. If nobody minds, I'm going to answer these comments in reverse order.

    @LimesNow--Mostly tounge-in-cheek, but also a realistic peek into my mess of a brain at any given moment. Landscape, you say? I think there's a lot of weeds that need pulling.

    @Dreamfarm Girl--My mind is hopelessly saturated in 20th century pop culture. Glad you liked it.

    @Elisabeth--Fine wired mind? To evoke a pop culture expression from the from the first few decades of the 20th century, I think it's more like a Rube Goldberg machine. Anyway, thanks, Elisabeth. Regardless of how much blogdom can take, I hope you do conduct your own experiment. I'd be curious to see how it turns out.

  5. holy wow-what great synaptic connections you've got going on!
    can you type as fast as you can think? that's always been my downfall-my fingers won't move as fast as my brain. hmm-maybe that's a good thing.

  6. Pssssttt...standing...I can't type as fast as I think...don't tell anybody...

    I was originally going to title this post "Random Firings Across the Synapses", but it seem like I've heard that somewhere before; ]

  7. kirk-hey, feel free to use whatever combination of words that spring to mind!

  8. There's nothing to be afraid of Donny, these men are nihilists!

    I disagree that stream of consciousness is too much for blogdom... only for those who have a short attention span!

  9. Short attention span. Atttention getting. Getting to know you. Only you. Only the lonely. Lonely are the brave. The bold and the brave. Braveheart. Have a heart. The American Heart Association. Love American Style...


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