Monday, February 22, 2010

Quips and Quotations (Tin Pan Alley Edition)

There's no people like show people
They smile when they are low
Even with a turkey that you know will fold
You may be stranded out in the cold
Still you wouldn't 'change for a sack of gold
Let's go on with the show

--Irving Berlin

(OK, a blog's not exactly show biz, but it's as close as I'm likely to get--KJ)

Times have changed,
And we've often rewound the clock,
Since the Puritans got a shock,
When they landed on Plymouth Rock.
If today,
Any shock they should try to stem,
'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock,
Plymouth Rock would land on them.

In olden days a glimpse of stocking
Was looked on as something shocking,
But now, God knows,
Anything Goes.

Good authors too who once knew better words,
Now only use four letter words
Writing prose, Anything Goes.

The world has gone mad today
And good's bad today,
And black's white today,
And day's night today,
When most guys today
That women prize today
Are just silly gigolos
And though I'm not a great romancer
I know that I'm bound to answer
When you propose,
Anything goes

When grandmama whose age is eighty
In night clubs is getting matey with gigolo's,
Anything Goes.

When mothers pack and leave poor father
Because they decide they'd rather be tennis pros,
Anything Goes.

If driving fast cars you like,
If low bars you like,
If old hymns you like,
If bare limbs you like,
If Mae West you like
Or me undressed you like,
Why, nobody will oppose!
When every night,
The set that's smart
Is intruding in nudist parties in studios,
Anything Goes.

If saying your prayers you like,
If green pears you like
If old chairs you like,
If back stairs you like,
If love affairs you like
With young bears you like,
Why nobody will oppose!
...Anything goes!

--Cole Porter

(You've been forewarned--KJ)


  1. GOOD to see you back at the keyboard, Kirk! I was concerned about you. Dust yourself and start all over again, eh?

  2. You may prefer me off the keyboard when you see what I've got coming up.

  3. No. You once said you like to hear me talk, at least online. I'll like to see what you're cooking up.

  4. I remember singing there's no business like show business in a follies type show in 7th grade. got a little bit myself. so, what's coming? I'm a bit curious!

  5. Thanks Kirk, I repress how much I love the life of show business. The sets, the costumes, the music, the dance. You remind me I'm looking in the wrong places for employment. Follow your bliss.

  6. @Dreamfarm--The song originally appeared in the musical "Annie Get Your Gun", so, in that context, it describes a Wild West Show, but Irving Berlin cannily made the lyrics vague enough so that it could be sung as a homage to show business in general. As for what I've got coming up, I'm going to decribe a couple of, un, "beauty paegents" I once attended.

    @Tag--Glad you liked it. I was going to include "That's Entertainment" and "Hooray for Hollywood" but they seemed kind of redundent.

  7. @Hill--That actually comes from the Old Testament: In The Beguinning...

    Seriously, I think up until now, I've only heard instrumentals of that song, though, it being Cole Porter, I knew it must have lyrics.

  8. Anybody who happens to read my response to Dreamfarm Girl's comment, pretend I wrote "pageant" instead of "paegent" The ol' dyslexia's been kicking in lately.

  9. anything goes,kirk. let's see what you've got in the hopper!


In order to keep the hucksters, humbugs, scoundrels, psychos, morons, and last but not least, artificial intelligentsia at bay, I have decided to turn on comment moderation. On the plus side, I've gotten rid of the word verification.