Monday, February 1, 2010

Quips and Quotations--Special Theological Edition

If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.

--Voltaire

God said so: Go forth, be fruitful, multiply, and go rape the planet--it's yours.

--Ann Coulter

God told me to end the tyranny in Iraq.

--George W. Bush

I think God's will has to be done in unifying companies and people in order to get the gas pipeline done, so pray for that.

--Sarah Palin

You give $1 for the Gospel's sake, and $100 belongs to you; give $1000 and receive $100,000. I know you can multiply, but I want you to see it in black-and-white and see how tremendous the hundredfold return is.

--Gloria Copeland, prosperity gospel preacher

If there is a God, it may be necessary to uninvent him.

--Kirk Jusko

13 comments:

  1. Dont make me come down there, Kirk.

    --God

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  2. If you knew what was done in your name, I don't think you'd want to.

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  3. Oh, God, that's good Kirk!

    --Les

    WV = pappe. Is God the pappe to every living soul?

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  4. I don't know if you caught it, any of you early readers, but I hade Ann Coulter saying God told her to rape the "panet". I'm afraid that makes her seem weirder than she already is. I've since changed it to "planet"

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  5. "had" not "hade". I've got to start typing slower.

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  6. I caught "panet", Kirk, but I refuse to beat you up for such things. You do it so well yourself. You and I might be equally matched for self-flagellation. Do you know I'll accept responsibility and beg forgiveness for some of the Civil War battles, for surely they must have occurred due to shortcoming of mine? Almost literally.

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  7. What do you suppose God commanded us to do to Ann Coulter? Suffer the thought. It may be necessary to uninvent Ann Coulter (retroactive birth control???).

    WV - moveluce. Where do you want me to move her to?

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  8. @ Badger--Stick a pin in Coulter's Adam's apple and see if she deflates.

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  9. My Granny-O was from Tennessee and her grandfather died in the Confederate army, so I guess I'd say "rebel".

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  10. Stick a pin in her to see if she deflates? Voodoo dolls and "Judy" dolls come to mind... Hmm. She is pretty cute for a Neo Nazi. I wonder how she'd look in a black uniform?

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  11. @Hill-My sentiments exactly.

    @Badger--You mean like Eva Braun?

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