Monday, February 1, 2010

Quips and Quotations--Special Theological Edition

If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.


God said so: Go forth, be fruitful, multiply, and go rape the planet--it's yours.

--Ann Coulter

God told me to end the tyranny in Iraq.

--George W. Bush

I think God's will has to be done in unifying companies and people in order to get the gas pipeline done, so pray for that.

--Sarah Palin

You give $1 for the Gospel's sake, and $100 belongs to you; give $1000 and receive $100,000. I know you can multiply, but I want you to see it in black-and-white and see how tremendous the hundredfold return is.

--Gloria Copeland, prosperity gospel preacher

If there is a God, it may be necessary to uninvent him.

--Kirk Jusko


  1. Dont make me come down there, Kirk.


  2. If you knew what was done in your name, I don't think you'd want to.

  3. Oh, God, that's good Kirk!


    WV = pappe. Is God the pappe to every living soul?

  4. I don't know if you caught it, any of you early readers, but I hade Ann Coulter saying God told her to rape the "panet". I'm afraid that makes her seem weirder than she already is. I've since changed it to "planet"

  5. "had" not "hade". I've got to start typing slower.

  6. I caught "panet", Kirk, but I refuse to beat you up for such things. You do it so well yourself. You and I might be equally matched for self-flagellation. Do you know I'll accept responsibility and beg forgiveness for some of the Civil War battles, for surely they must have occurred due to shortcoming of mine? Almost literally.

  7. What do you suppose God commanded us to do to Ann Coulter? Suffer the thought. It may be necessary to uninvent Ann Coulter (retroactive birth control???).

    WV - moveluce. Where do you want me to move her to?

  8. @ Badger--Stick a pin in Coulter's Adam's apple and see if she deflates.

  9. My Granny-O was from Tennessee and her grandfather died in the Confederate army, so I guess I'd say "rebel".

  10. Stick a pin in her to see if she deflates? Voodoo dolls and "Judy" dolls come to mind... Hmm. She is pretty cute for a Neo Nazi. I wonder how she'd look in a black uniform?

  11. @Hill-My sentiments exactly.

    @Badger--You mean like Eva Braun?