6. Spock Reconsidered
In this installment, I want to
look at three (or so) Spock-centric episodes. These aren't necessarily the best
episodes of
Star Trek (indeed, one is widely considered the all-time worst) but they're worth examining for what they reveal about our Vulcan pal.


Let's start with the purportedly worst first: "Spock's Brain." A sexy woman from a
nearby ship beams aboard the Enterprise, and knocks everyone
unconscious. After they all come to again, Spock is discovered in sick
bay with his brain removed. Because of his unique Vulcan physiognomy, he
can survive for another 24 hours before succumbing. In an obvious hurry, Kirk has
the other ship traced to a planet heretofore thought to be
uninhabited. McCoy hooks up Spock's body to remote control, and the two of them plus Kirk and, for a change, Scotty, beam down to a frozen
wasteland where they meet some scared caveman-types. An
elevator takes them down to a technologically advanced underground
city, where they meet up once again with the sexy woman. She's no help
as she not only can't tell them where to find Spock's brain, she doesn't
even know what a brain is! They do hear Spock over an intercom and he leads them in to a room with a black box with what
looks like a crystal ball sitting on top. Now comes the explanation.
Spock's brain was hijacked so it could operate a computer that in turn
operates the whole planet and takes care of a people too ignorant to
take care of themselves. After some jostling back-and-forth with the
sexy woman and her friends, phasers getting knocked out of hands and retrieved again, Kirk and co. find out about a device that looks kind of like a hair dryer with
electrodes called "The Teacher" that gives the wearer advanced
knowledge. This is how the otherwise backwards women figured out how to
pilot a spaceship and steal Spock's brain. McCoy puts on the device and
learns how to perform a brain transplant, and goes to work on Spock.
The advanced knowledge runs out halfway through, but Spock, who
apparently can have such an operation performed on him while remaining
completely conscious, guides McCoy the rest of the way, much to the
doctor's chagrin.

"Spock's Brain" was written by Lee Cronin, actually Gene L. Coon writing under an assumed name as he was now contractually obliged to a different studio. What in the
world was he thinking? Well, if you look at some of his previous writing
credits, this episode shouldn't really be that much of a surprise. "A
Taste of Armageddon" and "The Apple", both of which he co-wrote, warn of
the dangers of letting a computer do your thinking for you, and the
comely young ladies do just that in "Spock's Brain". In fact, that these
women are so ignorant may not be due to low I.Q.s but because material
abundance has resulted in a state of mindless passivity, a theme
mirrored in "Breads and Circuses" which Coon also co-wrote (the men
laboring on the planet's frozen surface aren't too bright either; too
much
and too little leisure time can sap the intellect, this episode
seems to be saying.) However, it's the Spock part of "Spock's Brain"
that really matters. Coon wasn't just interested in exploring strange
new worlds, but also in the explorers doing the exploring. More than
anyone else, he made sure
Star Trek's science fiction was
character driven. And so in this particular episode, the most
fascinating character in the series becomes the actual
science in
the science fiction that the rest of the plot revolves around. Maybe
it's just the bizarreness of Spock's brain being removed that turns so many
people off to this episode (that Spock and Nurse Chapel
briefly share the same skull in the much more dramatic and much more highly
regarded "Return to Tomorrow" always struck me as much more bizarre, but
everyone else who's seen that one apparently finds it touching.)

Still,
"Spock's Brain" is pretty goofy at times, stretching credibility even
by the standards of science fiction (not least when the Vulcan's gray
matter comes and goes without him losing a lock of hair.) It should be
remembered that while he wrote the episode, Coon didn't produce it, and
so something may have been lost in translation. I frankly think he meant
it as a comedy, but the new producer and new story editor just didn't
get the joke. Now, that's not to say, as others have suggested, the
episode is actually a parody of
Star Trek (at least not any more so
than "The Trouble with Tribbles") or that Coon was mocking the creative
and budgetary abyss on which the series was then teetering on the edge. With
its stupefied women at home, brutalized men at work, and mechanized
society, this episode is not a satire of
Trek but the American
Dream, circa 1968. Except when we hear Spock's disembodied (supposedly
synthesized) voice, at which point it becomes pure character comedy. What I
like about "Spock's Brain" is that it reminds me a bit of the classic
Chuck Jones-directed Warner Brothers cartoon
Duck Amuck. That's
the one where an unseen animator plays havoc with Daffy Duck, even
replacing his body at one point, yet Daffy remains unmistakeably Daffy,
just as in this Spock remains unmistakeably Spock. The difference is that
whereas the funny fowl was frustrated at what was being perpetrated on
his being, Spock seems
delighted at his predicament. Nothing turns this Vulcan on more than weird science, even if he himself happens to be the guinea pig:
KIRK: We might be able to locate you if you gave us some idea of what they were using you for. Is it medical?
SPOCK (over some kind of intercom):
I am not certain. I seem to have a body which stretches into infinity.
SCOTT: Body? Why, you have none.
SPOCK: Then what am I?
MCCOY: You are a disembodied brain.
SPOCK:
Fascinating!
It could explain much, Doctor. My medulla oblongota is hard at work
apparently breathing, apparently pumping blood, apparently maintaining a
normal physiologic temperature...
KIRK:
Spock, we don't have time for that.
The whole thing turns into the sci-fi sitcom it was heading towards when Spock starts dictating his own brain transplant:
SPOCK:
Yes, I already have some sensation of feeling.
Please stimulate the nerve endings and observe the physical reactions,
one by one. In each case, I shall tell you when the probe is correct.
you will then seal using the tri-laser connector...
MCCOY: [
...]
A Vulcan telling me how to operate. I'll never live this down!
Once everything's back to normal, yet another summing up of the day's events by Kirk, Spock and McCoy:
SPOCK:
On
the whole Captain, I believe I am quite fit. Fascinating. A remarkable
example of a retrograde civilization. At the peak, advanced beyond any
of our capabilities and now operating at this primitive level which you
saw. And it all began thousands of years ago when a glacial age
reoccurred. This underground complex was developed for the women. The
men remained above, and a male-female schism took place. A fascinating
cultural development of a kind which never--
MCCOY:
I knew it was wrong. I shouldn't have done it.
KIRK:
What's that?
MCCOY:
I should never have reconnected his mouth.
(Spock does a double-take.)
KIRK:
Well, we took the risk, Doctor.
SPOCK: (deciding to ignore the slight)
As
I was saying, a fascinating cultural development of the kind which
hasn't been seen in ages. The last such occurrence took place on old
Earth, when the Romans were warring with the...
It
all comes down to Leonard Nimoy's wonderfully comic performance. Whether
or not Coon meant "Spock's Brain" to be funny, whether or not the
producer realized the episode was supposed to be funny, Nimoy decided on
his own he would make it funny. Years later, when this episode achieved
a certain level of infamy among
Star Trek devotees, the actor
would claim that he found the story embarrassing. Embarrassing or not,
Nimoy's own performance is nothing to be ashamed about.
It should be no surprise that Nimoy's Spock could be funny. In a way he reminds me of Sean Connery's James Bond. Starting with
Dr. No
in 1962, Connery on his own added humor to the narrative by the way he
said a particular line or even his deadpan expression upon witnessing
something amazing, be it a technological display theretofore unbeknownst
to science or his own hairbreadth escape from certain death. Eventually
the producers and writers caught on to what Connery was doing and
started adding intentional comic material, until you get to
Diamonds are Forever,
an out-and-out comedy. In Nimoy's case, the humor, be it scripted or not,
starts as early as the very first
Star Trek episode to air, "The Man Trap", which opens with a bored (and not particularly
professional) Lt. Uhura attempting to flirt with Mr. Spock:
SPOCK:
Miss Uhura, your last subspace log contained an error in the frequencies column.
UHURA:
Mister Spock, sometimes I think if I hear the word "frequency" once more, I'll cry.
SPOCK:
Cry?
UHURA:
I was just trying to start a conversation.
SPOCK:
Well, since it is illogical for a communications officer to resent the word "frequency", I have no answer.
UHURA:
No, you have an answer. I'm an illogical woman who's beginning to feel too much a part of that communications console--(practically cooing at this point)
Why don't you tell me I'm an attractive young lady, or ask me if I've
ever been in love? Tell me how your planet Vulcan looks on a lazy
evening when the moon is full.
SPOCK:
Vulcan has no moon, Miss Uhura.
UHURA:
I'm not surprised, Mister Spock.
OK,
all that was scripted, but not the truly dumbfounded look on Spock's
face when Uhura asks him about the moon. Sometimes I can't tell you why I
find Spock funny, such as in "A Taste of Armegeddon" when he says, "
Yeoman Tamula, you stay here and prevent this young lady from immolating herself. Knock her down if necessary. This is a killing situation."
That killed me, and I don't know why! Don't get me wrong. I don't
believe in knocking down young women (though I suppose self-immolation
prevention is as good an excuse as any.) I just laughed out loud when I
heard it. As I did when Spock, upon hearing Zefrem Cochrane's outrage at
discovering he's been a kept man for a female ball of electricity in
"Metamorphosis", comments: "
Fascinating. A totally parochial attitude".
Was I suppose to laugh at that? I don't know, but I did. When on a
planet modeled after the Third Reich in "Patterns of Force" Kirk
disguises himself as a Gestapo agent, Spock offers this compliment: "
You should make a very convincing Nazi." Kirk's not sure how to take that, but I chuckled.
Then
there's the times where it's obvious that it's meant to be funny, but
Nimoy makes it even funnier. When Kirk tells him at the end of "The
Return of the Archons" that he'd make a "
splendid computer" the starship captain means it as a dig, but Spock doesn't care: "
That is very kind of you, Captain." Calculating the odds of making it past a couple of Klingons in "An Errand of Mercy" Spock says: "
Difficult to be precise, Captain. I should say approximately 7,824.7 to 1"
Trapped in a 1930s slum in "The City on the Edge of Forever" and trying
to build a computer, Spock matter-of-factly tells Kirk, "
Captain, I must have some platinum. A small block would be sufficient, five or six pounds."
In "Friday's Child", when he finds out an alien mother is going to name
her newborn baby Leonard [McCoy] James [Kirk] Akaar, Spock indignantly
replies: "
I think you're both going to be insufferably pleased with yourselves for at least a month." When Kirk tries to drive a 1920s-style car in "A Piece of the Action" Spock makes this observation: "
Captain, you are an excellent starship captain, but as a taxi driver you leave much to be desired." Actually every word that comes out of Spock's mouth in that episode is funny "
Why would you put our captain in a bag?"
he asks a mobster. In "That Which Survives" after Scotty goes through
great lengths to speed up the starship's engines and keep everyone from
getting killed in the process, and then wonders why Spock won't even say
thank you, the Vulcan uses the occasion to pontificate "
What is
it in you humans that requires an overwhelming display of emotion in a
situation such as this? Two men pursue the only reasonable course of
action indicated, yet you feel something else is necessary" and seems unaware that the exhausted engineer has just told him "
Never mind."
As much as the way he said his lines, however, Nimoy could make me laugh just at
the way he used his eyebrows for double-takes and deadpan expressions,
such as when Kirk tries to get him to go to an Adults Only establishment at
the end of "The Wolf in the Fold" or his reactions to any number of
McCoy insults. Do you suppose Spock is related to the James Bond on his mother's
side?
In the end, the humor serves to--for want of a
better word--
humanize Spock, though he himself would surely want a better word, as
witnessed by the epilogue to "The Devil in the Dark":
CHIEF VANDENBERG (via radio):
You know, the Horta aren't so bad once you're used to their appearance. Well, that's about it, Kirk. Thanks for everything.
KIRK:
Our pleasure, Chief. Kirk out.
SPOCK:
Curious.
What Chief Vandenberg said about the Horta is exactly what the Mother
Horta said to me. She found the humanoid appearance revolting, but
thought she could get used to it.
MCCOY:
Oh, she did, did she? Now tell me [of course McCoy would bring this up]
did she happen to make any comments about those ears?
SPOCK:
Not
specifically, but I did get the distinct impression she found them the
most attractive human characteristic of them all. I didn't have the
heart to tell her that only I have them.
KIRK:
She really liked those ears?
SPOCK:
Captain, the Horta is a remarkably intelligent and sensitive creature, with impeccable taste.
KIRK:
Because she approved of you?
SPOCK:
Really, Captain, my modesty.
KIRK:
Does not bear close examination, Mister Spock. I suspect you're becoming more and more human all the time.
SPOCK:
Captain, I see no reason to stand here and be insulted.


The
next Spock-centric episode I want to look at is "Mirror, Mirror" though many
might not consider it a Spock-centric episode at all. The many would be wrong.
At its very heart it's about Spock as Man of All Universes. Kirk,
McCoy, Scotty, and Uhura (why those four exactly?) are on the planet
Halkan, trying to convince the leaders to let the Federation mine
dilithium crystals (which powers starships), and they're proving a bit
stubborn as they don't trust outsiders. Kirk tells them to think about
it, and then he and the three others beam back to the Enterprise.
Unfortunately, as this is right during yet another ion storm, Kirk, McCoy, Scotty
and Uhura find themselves on a bridge with a bearded Spock and
themselves dressed like character right out of
Conan the Barbarian.
Turns out they're in a parallel, or mirror, universe, one in which
where there is no Federation but instead an Empire governed by cruelty
(meanwhile back home, non-bearded Spock has their savage counterparts
thrown in the brig, all the while muttering "
Fascinating.")
Mirror Spock demonstrates this cruelty by punishing the operator of the
transporter with an "agonizer". The four decide to play along until they
can find out how to get back to their own universe. Unfortunately, time
and the Empire's non-democratic way of achieving its goals seems to be against them. The mirror Kirk had orders to destroy Halkan cities if they
don't turn over the dilithium. The regular Kirk's visible reluctance to do this
stirs up savage opportunism aboard the I.S.S. (Imperial Starship)
Enterprise. Mirror Chekov first tries to kill Kirk, but is
double-crossed by one of his own henchmen wanting to curry favor with the
intended target of the assassination, who's after all top dog. Mirror
Spock shows up again, and expresses relief Kirk is still alive, as if he
wasn't, he'd have to take his place and then be a target
himself when
all he really cares about is his scientific endeavors. Still, he
reminds Kirk he's under orders to wipe out the Halkins, and if he
doesn't, then Spock will have to kill him, whether he wants to or not.
So Kirk goes to his quarters to mull things over, and finds out he has a
beautiful harlot waiting for him. She laughingly reminds him of the
"Tantalus Field" a lethal button that can allow one to monitor and kill
their enemies from afar. Apparently, Mirror Kirk copped such a device
from a plundered scientist's laboratory, and used it to move up the
Empire's ladder. Meanwhile, Mirror Sulu decides
he'd like to kill Kirk,
but the harlot, Marlena, vaporizes his henchmen with the aforementioned Field.
Mirror Spock shows up again, having decided the only logical way to save his own
skin is by killing Kirk, after all. Taking on Kirk, McCoy, Scotty, and
Uhura, Spock seems to be having an easy time of it, until the Starfleet
captain lands a lucky blow, knocking the Mirror Vulcan out. They all
head to the transporter room, which Scotty has rigged to get them back
to their own universe, except McCoy. Seems the ol' Hippocratic Oath is
bugging him, and he's just gotta stay behind and save Mirror Spock's
life, even if finds this Spock no more likable than the other one. McCoy performs his oath a little too efficiently as Mirror Spock comes to and
mind melds with the terrified doctor. The mirror Vulcan learns everything, and comes down
to the transporter room and tells Kirk he'll personally man the controls
and make sure he gets back to his own universe. Kirk then has a
thought. Suppose, just suppose, the Mirror Spock
is Spock. The
universe has changed but he's basically the same guy, only operating
under a different set of conditions, where survival is the ultimate
logic. Kirk asks Spock how long this Empire can last before some there's
some sort of revolt.
MIRROR SPOCK:
Approximately two hundred and forty years.
KIRK:
The inevitable outcome?
MIRROR SPOCK:
The Empire shall be overthrown, of course.
Of
course. Asked why he's serving such an illogical system if he believes it
to be doomed, Mirror Spock is again the rationalist: no man can change
the future. It's then Kirk tells him about the Tantalus Field, gambling
that he'll do the right thing. Kirk, McCoy, Scotty and Uhura all
return to their own universe, and we never do learn if Mirror Spock did
indeed do the right thing. But it's not like he could make the situation any
worse. At least Mirror Spock transcends his immediate environment in this one. More so than anyone else, including Mirror Kirk.
Finally,
in the third Spock-centric episode "Journey to Babel" we get to meet
his parents, Vulcan father Ambassador Sarek (Mark Lenard) and Earth
mother Amanda (Jane Wyatt, the mom on
Father Knows Best; TV
daughter Elinor Donahue played Commissioner Nancy Mitford in
"Metamorphosis".) This story revolves around a bunch of diplomats, some
of them not too nice, being ferried to the title planet on the starship Enterprise. Sarek is one of the nicer diplomats, but he and Spock are
estranged, the father never having approved of his son's choice of
Starfleet for a career. The pig-faced (fictional ethnicity, remember)
Tellerlite ambassador is murdered, and suspicion falls on Sarek, as the
two had earlier argued. During an interrogation, Sarak has a heart attack, and is rushed to sick bay, where he needs blood fast, which Spock is there to supply. Meanwhile, a member of the Andoran delegation stabs
Kirk, and
he's rushed to sick bay. In accordance to duty, Spock halts
his father's transfusion, and heads to the bridge to take command of the
Enterprise, so that now he's estranged from his mother! Not wanting to break up
a family, Kirk fakes a speedy recovery and relieves Spock of command.
The transfusion continues. An alien spaceship tries unsuccessfully to
take out the Enterprise, but that hardly matters here. As an amusing bit
between Spock and his parents attests to at the end of this episode,
Vulcan families are as fucked-up but loving as any found here on Earth.

Sarek
and Amanda reminds me that I've been referring to Spock as a Vulcan
throughout this series when he in fact is
only half Vulcan, the other half being human. But what does that mean exactly? I
suppose metaphorically, symbolically, allegorically, it all makes sense
as Spock so often acts as a go-between Earth and whatever alien planet
the Enterprise is visiting. Literally, though, what does it mean, since
after all Spock both looks and acts 100% Vulcan? The most common answer
is that since he's 50% human, Spock must have 50% emotions, which he
has to constantly suppress, a burden not shared by his 100% Vulcan
countrymen. Well, that's true if 100% Vulcans are born with 0% emotions,
but the show sometimes suggests otherwise. Take the episode "Amok
Time", for instance. We find that Spock can only resist the charms of
Nurse Chapel and any other female making googly eyes at him for seven
years before he gets sick and dies. OK, horniness isn't
exactly an emotion, but Spock goes back to Vulcan to engage in a
duel-to-the-death mating ritual that even
he admits isn't very
logical. There we meet a 100% Vulcan femme fatale named T'Pring, who
connives to have Spock fight Kirk so she can run off with the 100% Vulcan Stonn.
Spock ends up calling it "
flawlessly logical" but it seems to me that
T'Pring and Stonn are acting more like a couple of lovesick kids. A
season later in "The Savage Curtain" we meet Surak, the
back-from-the-dead father of Vulcan civilization who a way long time ago
convinced his countrymen to lay down their arms, forgo the passion that
was causing so much bloodshed and adopt logic instead. Two decades
later in
Star Trek II: The Search for Spock, when told by T'Lar that it's illogical to try to transfer "katra" from McCoy to a newly resurrected Spock, Sarek replies: "
Forgive me, T'Lar. My logic is uncertain where my son is concerned."And
then there's those Vulcan offshoots, the Romulans. They're hardly the
most even-tempered bunch. So if this head-over-heart lifestyle is
nothing more than mere socialization, it should really be no more
difficult for 50% Vulcan Spock to suppress his emotions than his 100% Vulcan
father, who, after all, when it came time to choose a mate, ignored the
100% Vulcan females on his own planet and instead hooked up with a 100%
Earth woman with all that entails because "
at the time it seemed the logical thing to do." Now you know where Spock gets his sense of humor.
Next: Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night