Vital Viewing (The Muses Are Heard Edition)

The last time I posted was the day before the presidential election. Some of you may have been wondering why I haven't posted since then. I just haven't had the time. You see, I've been busy...

  

...sulking. Well, maybe more than sulking. OK, I don't have wings (or curves), but this is pretty much the way I've felt lately. Obviously, things didn't go the way I had hoped.

But I'm not sulking anymore! I picked myself up and brushed myself off and found a way to deal with the political calamity that has now befallen our country. Take a gander:

 

 

Um, I'm suddenly hearing murmurs of disapproval.

See? Margaret Forster (author of Georgy Girl) has my back!

Now that we've established that it's wonderful, what's the best way to escape the horrors of topicality? Well, one tried-and-true method is a...

...Hays Office-approved old Hollywood movie:

 

Ah, what a diversion--What's that? You don't feel like you were escaping anything? What you need is a strong dose of silliness, and you can't get much sillier than this...

... BNL (before Norman Lear)-era situation comedy:

After watching that, you very well can't say your current affairs anxieties haven't all been swept away.

Huh? THEY HAVEN'T? Obviously, a stronger broom is needed. So instead of silliness, I'll provide you with some downright mindless...

...slapstick:

HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm lost in laughter, without a world-historical care in the world, and I'm sure you are too.

What do you mean your world-historical cares have increased? Boy, what a tough crowd.

All right, as one last resort, I want you all to escape into the innocence of childhood. Specifically, those nights when your mother or father would read you a...

 ...bedtime story:

There! I knew that would do it. Now you can puff up the pillow, pull up the blanket, and dream of a world devoid of any kind of news other than box scores and celebrity gossip. Isn't escapism wonderful?

Oh, there's still one naysayer out there, telling me I'm being irresponsible, that I should confront reality, not run away from it.

Look, naysayer, I never said I was planning to escape forever, just temporarily. And as far as confronting reality goes, I'll have you know that in order to have a better understanding of the election results, I've been reading this book:

So far nothing about fellating a microphone, but maybe that's in a later edition.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh..Wise Guy, Eh?

All the attention surrounding the new Star Trek movie reminded me of something I have in my possession that any Trekkie or Trekker reading this might find interesting.

About 20 years ago, my cousin, Cecil B. Jusko, went out to Hollywood in the hopes of becoming either an actor, director, producer, screenwriter, cinematographer, film editor, set designer, make-up artist, or stunt man. Alas, two decades later, he's merely a janitor, bouncing around from one studio to the next. However, Cecil's disillusionment is our enlightenment, for one of the studios he worked for is Paramount, where he was charged with straightening up their TV Script Archive Vault. It was here he noticed a box marked ST-1966. Inside were bits and pieces edited out of old Star Trek shooting scripts due to time restrictions. Cecil smuggled one of the pieces of script off the Paramount lot and sent it to me, and I'd like now to share it with you:

MCCOY
(contemptuously)

Well, Spock, I supposed you've never watched the Three Stooges.

SPOCK

On the contrary, Doctor. I did an in-depth study of them at the University of Vulcan.

MCCOY
(surprised)

Really?

SPOCK

Yes. Earth Culture 101.

MCCOY
(pleased)

Well, I'll be!

SPOCK

I'll have you know, Doctor, that my classmates and I agreed that of the thousands of novels, poems, plays, films, operas, ballets, ballads, paintings, sculpture, and television shows produced by your species in the last three millennium, it is the Three Stooges that most aptly, and most profoundly, captures the human condition.

MCCOY
(emotionally)

Why, I oughta...