R.I.P. (Roland in Perpetuity)

When asked if his Senate appointment was the result of a secret pay-to-play deal between him and the beleaguered Poe-and-Presley-quoting governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, Roland Burris replied:

"I have no money."

He blew it all on granite

Checkered Speech

The day before his arrest, Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was asked if his office was under investigation. He said he didn't know, but if there were people following him around with hidden tape recorders, then "that's what Nixon and Watergate was all about."

Governor, let me make this perfectly clear:

Nixon's crime wasn't that he was secretly recording people, it's that he himself was caught on tape breaking the law.

Sort of like you were.

Well, I shouldn't say that. You'll get your day in court.

Or on David Frost.