Monday, February 14, 2011

Quips and Quotations (St. Valentine's Day Edition)

Oh, darling, the ice caps are melting, but what does it matter, as long as we have each other?

--Kurt Vonnegut, on the possible consequences of including a romantic subplot in one of his novels

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.

--George Carlin

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Roumania.

--Dorothy Parker

It does not matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you do not do it in the street and frighten the horses.

--Mrs. Patrick Campbell, who spent a good deal of her life in the 19th century

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.

--Woody Allen

Still waiting for Sally Field.

--Marty Volare

20 comments:

  1. I watch as two of my girls and their beaux go out on their dates on what one boyfriend has described as the 'cheesiest day of the year'.

    Thanks for these terrific, and somewhat cynical quotes.

    To me loving is easy, but getting worked up about Valentine's Day is not.

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  2. Dear Marty ~~ you are adorable, and so am I! Love, Sally, aka Limes, aka Leslie aka George, aka Marie of Roumania, aka Mrs. Patrick Campbell, aka Kurt, aka Woody (with some reservations)

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  3. By the time you swear you're his,
    Shivering and sighing,
    And he vows his passion is infinite, undying -
    Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying.
    -- Dorothy Parker

    Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
    -- Woody Allen

    and then there's:
    love stinks.
    --j. geils band

    happy vd!

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  4. @Elisabeth--Cynical? Moi?

    I could get more worked up about the holiday if it was a paid day off.

    @Leslie Morgan--I'd like to welcome Leslie Morgan to the comment section.

    Hmm...she looks familiar

    @rraine--Hmm...she also looks familiar.

    My favorite verse or stanza or whatever you call it in the J. Geils song goes like this:

    You love her
    She loves him
    he loves someone else
    you just can't win
    and so it goes,
    until the day you die
    this thing called love
    will make you cry

    I don't care what no Casanova thinks
    I only know one thing for sure
    Love stinks


    Happy vd? Pass the penicillion, please.

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  5. @Leslie Morgan...

    Oh, Leslie, Leslie, Leslie, Leslie...

    I don't believe you had returned to reading the blog the day I substituted for Kirk. If you're interested, just click on my name in the keyword section. The tale I tell should be second from the top. It's titled "Unpredictable", but, alas, the way my fully beating heart has been put into the meat grinder only to end up on the inside of an Oscar Meyer hot dog is all too predictable, I'm afraid.

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  6. @ Kirk ~ I certainly thank you for the warm welcome. Damn, I DO rather look like myself, don't I?

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  7. @ Marty Volare ~ Darlin' I'm surely glad you made yourself known. I'll scoot over to that post. Let's see if we can't pull some of your heart back.

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  8. @ Marty ~ Oh, honey, you're STILL looking for love in all the wrong places. When are you actually going to GET here and let me pour balm on your wounded ego?

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  10. @Lovely, luminous Leslie--I'm heading to Vegas as soon as Madame Imelda looks into her crystal ball and tells me the best day to start out.

    I look so forward to your balming influence, I asked the 911 operator to call me nasty names so as to keep my ego freshly wounded for when I see you. She's done that and more!

    The policeman the 911 operator sent over is reading me my rights at the moment. I'll talk to you later. Until then, parting is for such a sweet tomorrow...

    "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have a right ..."

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  11. @ Marty ~ Oh, no! I'm not a lawyer, but I can dance my way through a hearing to pretty good effect. Given your success rate at actually arriving in Las Vegas, maybe I should head your direction? Don't talk, Marty. Tell them you're going to lawyer up. And Marty, dump Madame Imelda. She's no good for you.

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  13. @Leslie--Madame Imelda is a part-time paralegal and has agreed to defend me. As soon as I pry this gold crown out of my mouth.

    "OK, buddy, we're taking you to the booking station!"

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  14. @ Marty ~ Oh, hell, the Madames always get the man. I'm just too nice. Marty, you've got to quit toying with me.

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  15. Marty Volare--America's Most WantedFebruary 15, 2011 at 4:57 PM

    By the way, I have no idea why Kirk keeps deleting those comments, but then I have bigger problems to worry about.

    "Are you going to come along quietly, or are we going to have to use the stun gun?"

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  16. @ Marty ~ Yes it appears Kirk is struggling with that delete thing today.

    You are pretty stunning, Marty. They will probably use the gun on you. And I know that I want you more than any other man in America.

    I have to leave now, Marty. It's been another heartbreaker with you.

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  17. Best post valentines day I've ever had thanks to Marty and Les.
    wv - losmati. That may be the universe commenting Kirk.

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  18. @Tag--Glad you enjoyed the post. As for the word verification, since it came up for your comment, I assume the universe is trying to talk to you, not me.

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  19. It's been so, so, so very long since I got an "Oh, you, guys" I may have to put my head under a melting icycle to cool off.

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In order to keep the hucksters, humbugs, scoundrels, psychos, morons, and last but not least, artificial intelligentsia at bay, I have decided to turn on comment moderation. On the plus side, I've gotten rid of the word verification.