I think I'll turn on one of those public affair shows...
"Hello. My name Is Edward R. Trudeau, and today I'm interviewing the noted conservative pundit Basil Hapsburg. Thank you for joining us today, Basil."
"My pleasure, Edward."
"Well, Basil, what do you think of the Health Care Plan that just passed Congress."
"Oh, if only the Founding Fathers knew how their Constitution is being trampled on! Thomas Jefferson is turning over so much in his grave it's making Monticello rock on its' foundations!"
"Let's move on to the bill that would create a Consumer Protection Agency."
"Oh, the Founding Fathers would be simply horrified! From beyond the grave, I can hear James Madison weeping in Dolly's arms!"
"Er, lets move on to environmental legislation..."
"Oh, my, now you have really enraged the Founding Fathers! Why, I bet George Washington is clenching his wooden teeth so hard in frustration right now he'll soon have a mouthful of toothpicks!"
"Well, Basil, since you keep bringing up the Founding Fathers, isn't it true some of them were slaveholders?"
"Edward, I'm ashamed of you! You are being totally unfair! You can't judge people living in the 17th century by the standards of the 21st. The Founding Fathers were products of their times. They were limited by the mores of their times. They lived over 200 years ago, in a vastly different era. No comparison to the era we live in now. Absolutely none. Cut them some slack, why don't you?!"
"I-I guess you're right."
"Of course I am!"
"I'm sorry I ever brought it up."
"I forgive you."
"Well, let's move on to something else. So, tell me, Basil, what do you think about Obama's latest Supreme Court pick?"
"Oh, she mustn't be allowed to serve! It could so upset Thomas Jefferson he might go limp on Sally Hemings!"