Saturday, March 31, 2018

Rabbit Redux, or Shelling Points

(originally posted on 3/30/2013)

Christianity-wise, Easter is a much more important holiday than Christmas. After all, Easter celebrates the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Neat trick if you can pull it off. Christmas, on the other hand, merely celebrates Jesus' birth. Anybody can be born. Just look at David Hasselhoff. He was born, wasn't he? So was Paula Abdul. And Scott Baio, Vanna White, Prince Charles, Kitty Kelley, Peirs Morgan, Michelle Bachmann, Harry Reid, Florence Henderson, and the guy who played Mini-Me in the Austin Powers movies.

For that matter, I was born. Trust me, folks, it's doable.

So, if it's a less important occasion, why does Christmas seem bigger? Nobody wants to admit this, but it's because the secularists got into the act. They took a solemn holiday and made it fun. More important, as far as the merchants are concerned, they made it profitable. So profitable with all those Christmas sales, blaring songs, horrendous crowds, and blinding tinsel, they've made all the non-mercantile secularists among us wonder if we shouldn't give solemnity another chance.

Easter, then, is another chance for solem-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z...

Even if Easter is second-rate as far as secular holidays go, it's not for lack of trying on the part of the mover and shakers of popular culture, who've kept up the potentially profitable fight all these years. Some examples:

Actually, I think Easter would be the safest time of year for vegetables (assuming vegetables can think, as the above illustration implies.) I mean, it's not like you're going to find rutabagas in your basket. And who dyes onions?

(Incidentally, since the above computer-animated series features anthropomorphic vegetables, what happens when one goes into a coma? It's a bit a redundant to say they're in a vegetative state, isn't it?)

I wonder if she delivers the Un-eggs.

Soft boiled humor.

I hope they don't accidentally drink the dye and beer the eggs. (You may think that's bad grammar, but those folks are Dutch; they may not even notice.)

Easter cheesecake.

I wonder if these are also good for a sore throat.

A nice, cozy, romantic getaway.

Easter before cell phones.

Easter eggs that snap, crackle, and pop.

 He has to get to work somehow, doesn't he?

"...with liberty and jelly beans for all."

That's one creepy-looking Easter Bunny.

" will be a blue Easter without you..."

" singular sensation..."

They celebrate Easter in France, too.

So, is it working? Have we made the holiday secular enough?

Still no Christmas, but close...very, very close.

Have a happy and safe Easter, whatever your belief system may be.




  1. Some great Easter images there, especially the vintage ones!

  2. I love putting those old pictures on this blog, Debra. They stand the test of time--though I'm not quite sure why!

  3. Hi, Kirk!

    Your post gave me a sugar rush, good buddy. I am always up for some Easter cheesecake. :) Re: the creepy black & white pic - looks like one of Ted Bundy's modi operandi was posing as the Easter Bunny.

    It's a fact, Jack. Anybody can be born. Moreover, as we learned in 2016, anybody can be president. Come to think of it, President Mini-Me has a nice ring to it. Meanwhile, I get chills thinking about a Bachmann-Baio ticket, although Bachmann-Baio Overdrive would make a cool band name.

    I enjoyed seeing these examples of how merchants and Mad Men are trying hard to milk profits from the Easter holiday.

    Thanks, good buddy Kirk. Happy Easter! And let me be the first to wish you a very Merry Christmas!

    1. Shady, I think I saw a picture of that Easter Bunny at the post office.

  4. Love the New Yorker one the best so funny.
    Happy Easter to you.

    cheers, parsnip

    1. parsnip, I subscribe to the New Yorker, and the covers are one of the things I look forward to.

  5. Christians took pagan holidays and made them their own, secular people made them fun and commercial

    1. Adam, the holiday is on a day I normally get off of work anyway, so for this secularist, it's kind of like, what's the point? (That said, I found this particular Easter pleasurable.)