absurdity n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
adherent n.: A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get.
admiration n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
circus n.: A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.
fashion n.: A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.
mad adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
ocean n.: A body of water occupying two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
patience n.: A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
selfish adj.: Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
sweater n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
--Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary