In the Long Run, We're All Dead

I was just over at the Huffington Post, reading something Arianna wrote about the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland. The WEF is an annual gathering of CEOs, world leaders, entrepreneurs, activists (they're usually roped off), journalists, and, finally, economists dedicated to finding ways of making our planet a more prosperous place for all. If at first you don't succeed...

Anyway, Arianna interviewed one of the attendees, Niall Ferguson, a history and business professor at Harvard University. Ferguson feels our leaders (he didn't specify, but I'm guessing he means President Obama and the Democratic Congress) are making a big mistake by looking to the theories of John Maynard Keynes as a way of solving our current economic crises. In case you've never heard of Keynes, he believed a recession or depression could last indefinitely unless the government provided a stimulus, or, if you will, primed the pump, by either direct relief, public works, or tax cuts (for everybody, not just the rich).

Why doesn't Ferguson believe priming the pump will work? Because Keynes book, The General Theory of Employment, Interest, and Money was written in 1936.

Hmm. Well, 1936 was a long time ago. Keynes himself would have to admit nothing lasts forever (see post title.)

Yeah, when I think about it, anything invented or devised or discovered that long ago probably just won't work.

Incidentally, the atom was first split in the same decade that Keynes wrote his book.

Say, I guess we don't have to worry anymore about Iran acquiring nukes!

Are Van Helsing and Dracula Next?

Samantha Power, the Harvard University professor and Pulitzer Prize winning author who was dumped as a foreign policy advisor by then-presidential candidate Barack Obama for calling Hillary Clinton a "monster", will soon be hired as a foreign policy advisor by now-President Barack Obama, according to the Associated Press.

Wait a second, it's not the victim who's supposed to rise from the grave.

Then again, Jamie Lee Curtis did star in at least two Halloween sequels.

How does the monster, er, Hillary Clinton feel about all this? According to an official close to the transition, the two have decided to "bury the hatchet." As senior director of multilateral affairs (is there a director of single lateral affairs?) at the National Security Council, Power will have close contact, and maybe even travel with, Clinton, now Secretary of State. No word as to whether Power will bring along wolf bane and garlic, just in case.

You have to hand it to Obama. If nothing else, he knows how to bring about reconciliation within his own party. Of course, it was something of a surprise when, after all the insults traded between the two campaigns, Obama appointed Hillary to State in the first place. I remember the press conference he gave right after that announcement, in which he dismissed all that dissing back and forth as "just politics, heat of the campaign, you know."

Huh? They weren't serious?

IF YOU CAN'T TRUST POLITICIANS WHEN THEY'RE TRASH TALKING EACH OTHER, WHEN CAN YOU TRUST THEM?!

Sweet Charity

Me and Eddie Templeton were walking down the street, and shooting the breeze when--wait, have I introduced you to Eddie Templeton yet? You know Eddie, don't you? He just got his fifteenth ticket for parking in a handicapped space, remember? Let me quote him:

"I don't know what the hell's the matter with that cop! I told him I've got Premature Hunch Elbow!"

Anyway, me and Eddie were walking down the street, and he fell behind me for a moment.

"Hey, Jusko!"

I turned around. "Huh?"

"You dropped a quarter."

He picked it up and handed it to me.

"Thanks," I said.

I continued walking.

"Say, Eddie," I said. "What say you and I go over to the Looking-Glass Cafe and see if Garret and Marty's there?"

Eddie didn't answer.

"Eddie?"

I turned back around. Eddie was way behind me, still at the spot where I dropped my quarter. His arms were folded, and he was tapping his foot. He had an expectant look on his face.

I walked back over to him.

"Eddie," I said. "What gives?"

"I'm waiting," he said.

"Waiting? Waiting for what?"

"I'm waiting for God to shower me with fame and fortune and all the sex I can handle as reward for the good, just, and selfless deed I just performed."

He looked up toward the sky and started snapping his fingers.

I handed him my quarter.

"Here," I said. "I think you need this more than I do."

No Nanny State Here

New York Governor David Patterson has appointed Congresswoman Kristin Gillibrand to fill Hillary Clinton's seat in the Senate. Patterson praised Gillibrand for introducing balanced-budget legislation in the House. If he really means that, than perhaps we can save a few bucks by excluding New York state from the upcoming stimulus package.

That aside, who else could Patterson have picked? Carolyn Kennedy dropped out. And I have no strong feelings one way or the other about Andrew Cuomo.

BUT FRAN DRESCHER WUZ ROBBED!

Pop-up Quiz

Recently, I was at a Joseph Heller web site, deeply immersed in a discussion of Milo Minderbinder's place in literary history, when I suddenly noticed something in the lower right hand corner of the screen. It wasn't part of the site since it had nothing to do with Catch 22. Here's what it said:

TEST YOUR IQ

CLICK HERE

I thought to myself, hey, it'd be kinda cool to know my IQ, so I clicked .

Ever since I clicked, a box has popped on to the screen every ten seconds asking me to, variously, try a new anti-wrinkle cream, take advice on how to pass a civil service exam, give a gold-plated pendent to that very special person, join a health club, try liposuction, dine at a new Chinese restaurant in a city I never heard of, take pills that will cleanse my body of impurities, buy a Humvee, rent a condo on the shores of Lake Huron, and buy a mousetrap that glows in the dark.

I think I flunked the test.

Quips and Quotations

"Bill Clinton will be the most problematic Cabinet member's spouse since Martha Mitchell"

--Pat Buchanan, on Morning Joe.

(Never thought I'd be quoting THAT guy, but, hey, a good line is a good line--KJ)

Quips and Quotations

"Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. It's power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crises has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control--and a nation cannot prosper long when it only favors the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross national product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart--not out of charity, but because that is the surest route to our common good.

"As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers...our found fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideas still light the world, and we will not give them up for expediency's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

"Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, not does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint."

--President Barack Obama, inaugural address.

(Don't mistake this for a wholesale endorsement of Obama's speech. Much of it made me either yawn, sigh, or roll my eyes...but I did like this part--KJ)